finally

after all the nightmares, finally i was in the airport, thanks to all the people who helped me/offered to help me before i left for this trip, esp cl. i was really really tired....but still i didnt have time to be tired, the night before, i couldnt sleep becuz i was too tired and anxious, my heartbeat was bitting so fast that i felt like i could just collapse like that anytime

so glad and relieved that i can now sit on my bed, and use my new computer, and write about today

in the airport,my knee started to hurt, cuz of the heavy load

i felt that my whole body was just ...like tofu, while my big left toe was wrapped like a big marshmallow bcuz the nail broke into half and was bleeding inside... except that i was continuing walking...at times i didnt even care to have my glasses, i just had to find the gate number..which was big enough that i could see..i know i need a long long total rest..i stopped in chicago, after finding the gate, it was still early, there were chairs without handle in between...what else could that mean, exactly what i needed, without any hesitation, i put my skoolbag at one end, laid my head on it, legs at the other end, and SLEPT! as if nothing else in the world is more important than that. i had my alarm clock set so that i wouldnt miss my flight

on the plane, i thought of the long-lost him. I travelled around a lot ever since I came to the states. also becuz of him i got to fly to different skools for auditions and interviews. it seems like the only person who have sat with me on a plane was him other than my mom & strangers. I miss him while i was flying. Also becuz boston is where i am going. it is a dramatic place for me. tears and laughter.

it is complicated inside. I m leaving okc for more than two months........but i am too tired to even anticipate what will happen next...