satisfying day

suddenly feel like writing

finally i feel that i have a satisfying day, just becuz i am in the practise room for enough hours

I got this email all of a sudden from my teacher last thursday:


Hi Yen-Lin,

Keep me informed on your application to U of NC. Good job in studio class today, and I look forward to hearing it again in music assembly.

I know I had a few words to say about Brahms and memorization today, but I believe that you can do it. You need to practice a lot, it needs to be your priority. Not only Brahms, but also Mozart and Bach. You have great opportunities in front of you with all these upcoming auditions, I would really like to see you do well.

-----------------

i must say i am very touched, ..i once thought my teacher has given up on me.
i dont know what i was thinking either, others normally had their pieces memorized like few months before audition and i am now starting to memorize....i almost had to memorize one movement everyday........but fortunately, i have 1.5 movement to go ..... i thought i have good memory but when it comes to piano music...it is more of a muscle memory thing, because everyhing has to be instant...and the hand has to move faster than the brain...so there is nothing much one can do about it except moving the hand for hours until you dont have to think about where you are placing and moving to


i think i was at school at around 2pm..and when i finally felt the pain in my hand and could no longer go on, i looked at my cell and it was 10..that was 8 hours. i allowed myself to go.

very random

random things happen on random days, i was organizing my pics, finding pics from emails to download them, then i read some old emails, reminded me of you, and then , reminded me of this entry that i wrote in the summer while I was at the New York camp which never got posted:

My night off and then day off..my only day off through whole 6 weeks.


Emotion is such a weird thing
For some reason I thought of u tonite now
Well I alwiz think of u
But rite now I think the feeling is just like missing something in life…I feel the sore in my heart…..i m used to that kinda feeling maybe… once in a while I feel that
Haven’t talked for so long, so I thought to just shoot u an email say hi
It is an emotional moment, if u are in front of me…which will never happen, I think I wont be able to speak out a word, and I don’t think I will see well, and …I will not let u go……if I I could be just irrational for this once

My tears are flowing out, for no very good reason

I cant believe that

For missing u?

sleepless night

cant sleep, here i am, drinking some red wine...have these 4 bottles of wine since last year, tried not to open them unless there is nothing that i can do

I really need to sleep, quiz tomorrow havent studied, piano lesson tomorrow morning

but i cant...

Lots of things in mind but i m not gonna talk about them....stressed enough

maybe talk about other people then?



today is my bro's bday, didnt get to talk to him...how are you doing? are you fine?

today is the cd release day of kyle, ah dont really know what that is call..but i couldnt go

A teacher of mine got really sick.....you sounded so sick, hope you feel better

a friend of mine just lost his beloved grandpa.....i am so sorry to hear that.......

i m gonna try again


good nite

胖瘦不定

停留在6/17 父亲节很久了 呵呵， 父亲生日快到了呢， 想想已经两个多月了， 这中间当然发生了不少事， 我人在boston 和纽约，很多时候都有冲动要写东西， 往往太累 跑去睡了， 其实是有动笔写了一些，只是都没写完， 以后会慢慢补上

对了回来后有一件 事 很重要需要宣布一下

有人说我胖了！ 我以为我只是黑了

事情是这样的：

我见到这个人就说你看我是不是黑了， 他说。。恩， 他忽然间想说又说不出来的样字， 你是不是。。x 了，我听不到那个字。。。看他嘴型好象是说。。’pang‘ 了！ 哗 晴天霹雳。。。他可能也惊讶所以没把字说出来。。。我乐得很

“可是你不是说那里食物很糟吗？” 他一脸不解

“可能糟所以胖了吧， 再加上生活有规律定时吃。。而且我吃很多的， 因为一直在饿

”可能只是因为你黑了所以看起来胖了。。

“不是越黑越瘦吗。。

”可能黑看起来。。。健康。。。


哈哈让我胖一下不行哦


然后妈打来， 他照惯例一定问我有没有胖， 我说有人说我胖了， 他说哦真的吗真的吗。。。那多重了！ 我很懒 得站起来， 可是他坚持那我就去站在体重机一下， 没有我想像中的多。。。结果还是据实报上去。。

“什么？ 这是瘦了才对吧


”你以前不是 xxx 的吗？“

”你记错了吧。。。而且是三年前了。。。何况那个磅秤一直都怪怪的。。。


真是空喜一场

night off

cant believe this is the next time i write again after writing about my departure more than one month ago


there were many days that i really felt like writing becuz of things that happened, but i was too tired

maybe i will talk about them later/ fill up the missing days some time later

i have jazz combo concert today, basically my second jazz concert after the first official one in OKC...as expected i was very nervous about it

ppl were so nice and supportive though, that they cheered even before i completed my solo when i did a pattern

right after that we had piano ensemble concert, we did an 8 hand piece ...an arrangement of the prelude in c# minor by rachmaninoff

we played in the big theater, it went well! ppl liked it !

Dr. miyamoto suggested that we met today to go over the student's composition that i will be playing the next day. i learnt so much, not in term of the piece, but how to approach a fresch new piece and get comfortable with it quickly....musicians are smart i think....i mean....musicians like him

it is my night off...

finally

after all the nightmares, finally i was in the airport, thanks to all the people who helped me/offered to help me before i left for this trip, esp cl. i was really really tired....but still i didnt have time to be tired, the night before, i couldnt sleep becuz i was too tired and anxious, my heartbeat was bitting so fast that i felt like i could just collapse like that anytime

so glad and relieved that i can now sit on my bed, and use my new computer, and write about today

in the airport,my knee started to hurt, cuz of the heavy load

i felt that my whole body was just ...like tofu, while my big left toe was wrapped like a big marshmallow bcuz the nail broke into half and was bleeding inside... except that i was continuing walking...at times i didnt even care to have my glasses, i just had to find the gate number..which was big enough that i could see..i know i need a long long total rest..i stopped in chicago, after finding the gate, it was still early, there were chairs without handle in between...what else could that mean, exactly what i needed, without any hesitation, i put my skoolbag at one end, laid my head on it, legs at the other end, and SLEPT! as if nothing else in the world is more important than that. i had my alarm clock set so that i wouldnt miss my flight

on the plane, i thought of the long-lost him. I travelled around a lot ever since I came to the states. also becuz of him i got to fly to different skools for auditions and interviews. it seems like the only person who have sat with me on a plane was him other than my mom & strangers. I miss him while i was flying. Also becuz boston is where i am going. it is a dramatic place for me. tears and laughter.

it is complicated inside. I m leaving okc for more than two months........but i am too tired to even anticipate what will happen next...

run-thru

today i had my run-through for the competition, i was very nervous about it, never really played through this whole program straight through, and first time playing in public, surprisingly, the crowd was big this time...didnt really tell a lot of people only to ppl who asked about the competition or people who thought of going to the competition (but it was too far so I dont think they should), but everyone whom I talked to came...so surprised! well except timothy as he had a last minute plan.... and everyone came early!!! I was so impressed..thank you all for the support !!


Comments/review:

a little bit tense in hands overall esp LH, affect LH accompaniment in Mozart